As youth unemployment reaches an all-time high, at 62.4%, the National Shelter Movement of South Africa (NSMSA) revealed shocking evidence that economic hardship, gender inequality and social media trends are driving blesser/blessee relationships between older men and young women and girls in South Africa.
NSMSA National Coordinator, Anisa Moosa, says “Our biggest concern about these blesser/blessee relationships is their contribution to gender-based violence. The dependency of a young girl on a grown man is dangerous, not only for her physical wellbeing but psychologically too.”
Presenting her research findings in a webinar hosted by the NSMSA in May, Clinical Psychologist, Sibongile Sibanyoni says, “82.8% of young African women in impoverished areas are engaging in sexual relationships with older men and there is already evidence of psychological impact on some of them.”
Sibanyoni’s study uncovered that there is a common thread of early relationships with absent or unreliable caregivers which influences an individual’s ability to form and maintain emotional bonds in adulthood. The lack of financial dependability on caregivers causes the young women to develop a dependency and need for security.
South Africa’s unemployment rate has steadily increased in the last 10 years, from 25.5% in 2015 to 32.9% in the first quarter of 2025. The unemployment rate has deepened the level of poverty and almost half of the country’s population lives below the poverty line.
Sibanyoni says when parents are neglectful or cannot consistently provide and meet the needs of a young child, the child’s attachment style becomes insecure. “In their relationships they want a sense of security, which makes them vulnerable to a man who appears as a provider.”
The outcomes of the webinar highlighted that the young women in intergenerational relationships become psychologically affected because the men sometimes want them to perform acts which they feel are degrading. But, because of the lack of resources, the young women find it difficult leave these relationships.
A webinar attendee who identified herself as Bukelwa says, “I hear the research about blesser/blessee relationships, in the case of young girls and older men, but what about young boys and older women? What research has been done in those cases? How are young boys affected by these relationships?”
While formal research has not been conducted on the impact of older women relationships with young boys, and whether they contribute to gender-based violence, Sibanyoni said it can be safe to assume that the psychological impact is the same if there is a form of emotional abuse.
According to the Rape Crisis Centre, “Sometimes we send an underage young girl who is engaging in transactional sex or living with a pimp to Department of Social Development, and they receive no help. Nothing happens. We can tell them to focus on school, but there’s poverty at home. In such cases where there’s unemployment at home, the children do not come for psychosocial services, we must go to them. Even then, after that intervention they go back to the same situation.”
South Africa lacks support structures to educate the youth in financial literacy, how to develop emotional resilience and become autonomous in their relationships. There are also funding limitations which exist and resistance from government to take an active part and engage meaningfully.
Sibanyoni proposed interventions – to be provided by schools, government agencies, businesses and NGOs – to counter the vulnerability and risk to young women: psychoeducation (primary education at school level), comprehensive assessment (brief evidence-based psychotherapy for girls who are already showing signs of distress), and intensive evidence-based psychotherapy (for the severely affected who have possibly experienced gender-based violence).
“It is a critical situation, some of these young girls are at the intensive psychotherapy level and are presenting with symptoms of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation and have psychosis due to substance abuse,” said Sibanyoni.
Contact the National Shelter GBV Helpline by calling 0800 001 005, or send an SMS, WhatsApp or Please Call Me to 082 057 8600 | 082 058 2215 | 072 230 7147 or send an email to infohelpline@nationalsm.org.za. *Business are encouraged to include this information on their websites, intranets and social media.
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